Victoria

*bats eyes* Anyone found 4x17 online yet? I'm still comin' up empty and it's midnight :(

Fixed up my userinfo. J'adore milou_veronica so so much.

Here, have a piece of Deadsville, since I'm spamming and wasting your time:

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This tiny dark-haired woman came stumbling up to them in a bar, not too long after Jensen got home from his honeymoon, a pretty girl all dark eyes and plush lips and minimal clothing. The three of them stood there for a second, staring at each other quietly—Jensen’s mouth still open in the middle of a word—then she latched onto Jensen’s wrist and gave him a moony look. His jaws clicked shut.

“I just want to tell you something. You are the prettiest person in this place,” she told him very seriously. He glanced at Jared over the top of her head and Jared held his hands up. “No, seriously. Like, you’re way prettier than I am, and you’re a dude—wait, you are a guy, right? I mean, sometimes you can’t tell. This has happened to me before. Like, I go up to somebody to compliment them for being the best looking guy in the room and it turns out to be a super androgynous-looking girl. And that’s really awkward. Kind of rude, too.”

“Uh, I’m sorry?” Jensen said, giving Jared a ‘help me, asshole’ look that Jared, who was too busy laughing so hard he was going to hurt himself, totally ignored.

“Nah, it’s cool,” the girl said, waving a hand dismissively. She leaned closer and squinted up at his face, and he raised an eyebrow at her. “It doesn’t look like you’re wearing makeup, but then again it’s not like the really manly bulldykes are lining up for the mascara and lipstick combo, am I right? So I’m not sure. You kind of have stubble, though. God, you’re pretty. I’m having a hard time looking away, like I’m a fly and you’re one of those blue zappy things.” She giggled drunkenly.

Jensen blinked stupidly at her. He took a deep breath and tried to think of something to say that might get her to go away. “Okay, look, uh… scary drunk girl—”

“Jen,” she said, cutting him off.

He stared at her for a second. “What?”

She looked equally baffled. “What?”

“I don’t even know you,” he said slowly. “You don’t get to call me Jen. Even this dickhole doesn’t get to call me Jen.” He pointed at Jared, who just kept laughing and wiping tears out of his eyes.

She shook her head. “Wait, your name is Jen, too? Holy shit! I’m so sorry—please don’t, like, hit me, okay?” She gave him a pleading, rather pathetic look, all big dark eyes sparkling in the green Heineken neon Jensen kept whacking his head on right behind him. She shook her head again, like she was trying to clear out some fog. “Wow, how does this keep happening to me? I need, like, Superman’s laser vision so I can see through people’s pants and make sure I’m not going up to anybody else with a vag and telling her how she’s the prettiest dude in the room.”

“What? Oh, Jesus.” He thunked his head against the Heineken sign on purpose this time. “No! It’s not—this time you were totally right. I mean… okay. Fuck it. Yes, I am a guy.” He points at his jaw. “See, stubble? Lots of testosterone in my system… makes facial hair grow.”

She narrowed her eyes and pointed at him. “But your name is—”

Jensen sighed. “No, my name is Jensen. Two syllables.”

“But that’s, like, somebody’s last name,” she said, still looking confused.

“And it’s my first name,” he said wearily, glaring at Jared over her head. “Trust me, it’s confusing when you’re sober, so I’m sure it’s pretty fuckin’ beyond you right now.” He got the feeling he was being a dick, especially with the overly sympathetic look he had on his face, but she just shrugged and motioned for him to continue. “Look, I—your name is Jen, right?”

“Genevieve,” she said, nodding. “So, like, Gen with a ‘g.’” She wiggles her finger in the air like she’s drawing her initial.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. His wedding ring pinched the webbing between his fingers. It was new and he wasn’t used to it yet. “Okay, Gen,” he said slowly. “My name is Jensen. I am a guy. Thank you for the compliment.” He hoped the now go away was implied.

She flashed him a bright grin. “I am so glad we got that cleared up,” she said happily. “I’m really glad you have a penis.”

“Me too,” Jensen agreed. Jared started laughing again.

“And your lips are amazing, by the way.”

Jensen blinked. “Uh, thank you?”

“Any time,” she said. Then she abruptly pivoted forty-five degrees and grinned up at Jared. “Okay, you. Tall guy. Okay, so… I am really drunk right now, and this might turn out to be a questionable life choice, but fuck it. You’re hot. Wanna dance?”

Jared married her.